Our father used to always lecture the kids (usually my older siblings - of which there were many) with, "If I told you once, I told you a thousand times." in that loud, angry tone kids know only too well.
This time, I was being lectured, and maybe 5 years old or 6 years old.
Daddy angry: "If I told you once, I told you a thousand times!"
Me, not thinking anybody could count that high: "No daddy! If you told me once, you told me once. You couldn't count that high." (siblings in earshot burst out laughing, and mother across the room trying to contain her chuckles.)
Daddy, now furious: "You are not funny, young lady!" (Most people, not just kids, would think 'close the mouth' but not this kid, unfortunately. I just had to help him understand that it must be funny. All of them were laughing.)
Me, innocently: "But, daddy, you're the only one not laughing."
Needless to say I received an instant education at that point. (My bottom found out just how badly the 'end of the belt' hurt. And, I learned what 'talking back' was that day.)
In hindsight, this pillow would have soften the lesson a bit.😀
Now, I laugh about how naive I was at that age.