Eight Words: One Fast Nurse

by I.C. Uproots
Chief Chaos Correspondent


Boys Pajamas. Adult Ward. Not April Fools' Day

"When a nurse asks about 'bowel movements' and you're 9, confused, and a little girl in hospital-issued boy's pajamas… chaos ensues."

A small girl standing on a hospital bed.

I am a girl! Why can't they see that?


Every morning, my brothers and I (about age 9) would board the school bus to travel 30 miles to school. Next to the school was the town hospital, with the three doctors' offices, located in it. On my lunch break, one day, I went to see our family doctor at his office in the hospital.


After my checkup, I was, immediately, admitted to the hospital. Since there was not any room for me within the Children's Ward, I was admitted to the Adult Ward where there was a lovely lady in the other bed. I was provided boys' hospital pajamas. The problem, as I viewed it, I was a young girl, not one of my brothers. I was told that was all they had for me to wear.


Were my brothers told about my admission to the hospital? I never saw my parents for two days. I never even knew if they knew I was in the hospital as we did not have a home phone, and our truck was broken down.



Though, I did not realize it, I was crying in my sleep. The lady, in the other bed, pulled my bed beside hers to comfort me. Perhaps she had children at home missing her as I was my parents.


One day the nurse asked me, "Have you had a bowel moment today?" Very indignantly, I responded, "I am a girl! I don't have balls!"


Needless to say, the nurse made a quick exit.


A nurse running.

"Oh no! Did she really say that? I'm outta here!" while trying not to laugh at the misheard question.



After she stopped laughing, the lady in the next bed explained what the nurse had asked me. She used language I understood.


Oh well, I am sure all on staff had a good laugh that day, and for many more days with family and friends after. And, it all started with them providing me with boy's pajamas.


Note: When I was released two weeks later, they took me around to all of the rooms on the ward, and I received congratulations on recovering and gifts of fruit and candy. My brothers were so happy to dig into it when I got home.

Note-2: I learned at the age of 12 that my medical card had me marked as male on it. Being born between 8 brothers, and gifted with a male name may have confused the hospital staff.